Ego, Failure, and the Path to Mastery in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Not long ago, I talked about the myth of invincibility and the comfort zone — concepts that often shape how we approach training.
But today, I want to dive deeper into something we all wrestle with on the mats:
The ego — and how it can both drive and hinder our progress.
The Moment I Risked My Image
When I finally realized that the gym was the place to experiment, test techniques, and challenge myself, I decided to put my image at risk.
And then it happened.
One of the first times I tried a sweep, it failed.
Badly.
My partner quickly took advantage, passed my guard, and… made sure everyone knew it.
It wasn’t a major competition. I’m not a world champion.
But somehow, it felt like he had just won the Mundial.
And honestly?
My ego took a serious hit.
Why Failing Feels So Personal
I was frustrated.
Not because my technique failed — that happens.
But because my ego saw it as a reflection of me, not the moment.
It took time (and several more humbling rolls) to understand a simple truth:
This is the learning process — making mistakes and growing from them.
The Baby Steps of Learning 👣
Think about this:
A baby falls an average of 2,000 times before finally walking.
And what do we do when a baby falls?
- We cheer them on
- We encourage another try
- We don’t mock them or focus on the failure
We instinctively know that falling is part of the process.
But the moment we enter a gym — or worse, a school system — that mindset shifts.
We become self-conscious.
We fear judgment.
We start seeing mistakes as personal failures, not steps toward progress.
🥋 The Hidden Key to Mastery: Repetition
Mastery isn’t about getting it right the first time.
It’s about repeating, refining, and internalizing until it becomes second nature.
Yet, I’m still surprised when, after the coach demonstrates a technique, students try it…
twice — and then move on.
But here’s the truth:
If it doesn’t live in your muscles, it won’t appear under pressure.
Repetition isn’t just practice.
It’s the path to automatic execution — that moment when a technique flows without conscious thought.
🧠 Letting Go of the Ego to Truly Learn
So, how do we make space for real growth?
- Accept mistakes as part of the process
- See failure as feedback, not defeat
- Value the journey over the immediate result
Because in BJJ — as in life — it’s not about who taps who during training.
It’s about who’s still evolving, still learning, and still showing up.
💬 Something to Reflect On:
“The dojo isn’t a place for proving your worth — it’s where you build it.”
What about you?
- How do you handle failure on the mats?
- Has your ego ever stopped you from trying something new?
Share your story in the comments — let’s grow together. 👊